ROANOKE, Va. – There are about 800 children who are ready for adoption in Virginia. They are ready to find a permanent and loving forever family. 10 News is highlighting one child who needs a home every day in November during 30 Days of Hope. We are also telling some of the stories of the success and challenges the foster care system faces. The children are of all ages and races and were put into foster care due to no fault of their own. 2024 marks the eighth year 10 News is doing this series.
The path to adoption can be different for every family. Alli and Mickey Gray always knew they wanted to expand their family through adoption but just did not know when that would happen until one day in November 2022.
“A 30 Days of Hope story popped up on my phone. I watched it, it looked like a kiddo that we had always talked about fostering and adopting. So we kind of looked at each other and said, ‘Is it time? Are we going to go do this now?’ And we both agreed, so we kind of jumped in with both feet,” recalled Mickey. “I think the very next day, I called you and said, ‘Hey, Jenna, we want to get involved. You don’t know me. We want to get involved with this. How do we do that?’”
Jenna explained the process and some options that were possible and then Mickey and Alli Gray jumped right in, following the steps to become foster parents.
“We’ve always wanted to expand our family, and we knew that this is the route that we wanted to take because there’s so many kids in need,” said Alli, who works in a local high school.
They tried to match with the child from 30 Days of Hope, but that didn’t work out. One year later, just before Christmas in 2023, Kaylee arrived.
They went from a married couple with a dog, to an instant family with a teenager.
“It’s a wake-up call, I could tell you that much. Our house is a lot less quiet now than it was,” said Mickey. “It’s probably been the most rewarding thing that we’ve ever been a part of, and we could not imagine our lives without that little bit of chaos now.”
They say most of their days are just watching TV, having dinner, laughing and hanging out as a family.
“Kaylee and I love getting our nails done, and we love watching different TV shows. She’s very active, so we’re outside a lot, doing different things, but really, we just love being together,” said Alli.
Less than a year after moving in, Kaylee was officially adopted in October.
“It’s been a lot of fun. She is a great kid. We really enjoyed having her in our house. We can’t imagine her house without her in it now,” said Mickey.
“The last year has been life-changing. Our family has become complete over the last year. We now have a daughter, and we’re a family of three, and we’re so excited. We love it,” said Alli.
Mickey and Alli planned on celebrating their 15th wedding anniversary in Paris, watching the summer Olympics. The trip for two turned into a trip for all three-- so they could celebrate the upcoming adoption as a family.
Alli says the heartbreak of not matching with the original child they saw on 30 Days of Hope, eventually brought them to Kaylee.
“What was meant to be was meant to be, because now we have our daughter, and we could not imagine our life without her in it. She makes us a better people. We’re first-time parents, and so even though I work with teenagers, we’re kind of figuring out things as we go, and she’s figuring out things as she does with us and blending and meshing our lives. We couldn’t imagine our lives without her in it. We love her more than anything, and I just feel so grateful and blessed,” said Alli.
Both parents say if you are considering fostering or adopting, you should do it.
“There’s a lot of need out there. I think there’s this misconception that you need to be a really special person in order to do foster care. We are probably living proof that is not the case. There is nothing special about us. We’re the most ordinary people that have ever existed. At the end of the day, if you have the capacity to care about a kid and provide them with stability and attention, that’s all you need,” said Mickey.
Alli agrees saying, “I don’t think that they realize how many lives that they could change, and how big of a difference they could make.”
She’s worked in education for more than a decade, mostly at the high school level and sees kids in need every day.
“I have seen so many students who just want a family to love them. They just want a place to call home. They want somewhere to go when they are older that they can go home for Christmas, for the holidays, they want a place to call their own. A lot of times, older students end up aging out,” said Alli. “When I think about all the students that would benefit from that, and just having a second chance, having someone to love them, to come home to, it changes their entire world, and it gives them that second chance that they need.”
She says many times people are surprised when they learn Kaylee is 15 years old.
“‘They’re like, ‘Whoa. You wanted to foster and adopt a 15-year-old? Why would you want to do that? They’re terrible.’ No, the older kids, they kind of get forgotten about, but they need just as much love and support,” she says.
Mickey and Alli are excited to see what’s to come with Kaylee, as a family of three.
“Fostering and adopting a teen has been literally the best thing that we have ever done. We could not imagine our lives without having Kaylee in our home right now. So just literally, do it. You don’t know what you’re missing out if you don’t,” said Mickey.
Ready to take the next step?
Frequently asked questions about foster care and adoption in Virginia can be found here.
If you have questions about foster care/adoption or are interested in starting the process, contact VDSS Division of Family Services Adoption Recruitment Coordinator at adoptioninquiries@dss.virginia.gov.
To see all the 30 Days of Hope stories and children we are featuring, visit us here.