ROANOKE, VA – Looking at a picture of teenage Megan Ellis, you wouldn’t know anything was wrong off the bat.
But behind closed doors was a very different picture.
Ellis, her siblings and her mom faced abuse from her father for years.
“You can see where one night he kicked my mom out, locked her out, and used a power screwdriver and screwed all the doors and windows shut except one. I got out, my sister didn’t. He put his hands on her,” Ellis said.
It took years, but eventually, her mom left, taking the kids with her. ,
But as Ellis found out as she grew up, leaving an abusive relationship isn’t easy.
“The kind of father figure you grew up with kind of predisposes you to kind of look for the same qualities in your future partner, spouse, boyfriend, whatever,” Ellis said.
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“And did you find that to be true?” 10 News Anchor Abbie Coleman asked.
“Oh yeah,” Ellis said.
She found herself stuck in an abusive relationship, much like the one she’d seen her mother go through.
It started with verbal and emotional abuse but turned violent.
“The bruises on my body were so bad from that one particular instance, that I couldn’t sit right or walk right for weeks,” Ellis said.
But after that, she was even more afraid to leave.
“It takes someone in an abusive relationship an average of seven times to leave. And I think I took just about every single try,” she said.
Ellis’ partner isolated her, making sure she had no one to reach out to.
“He tried to smear my name, and drag them away from me,” she said.
And once she tried to leave? That’s when the harassment started - even with a restraining order.
“He couldn’t speak to me, but he would stalk me all the time. He could be at the gym closer to me than you are now,” she said.
She didn’t where else to go - until someone gave her the card for D.A.D. - or Domestic Abuse Disruption - founder Trey Gregory.
“She said, ‘he can help you.’ And once I started receiving help from him he helped coach me on how to protect myself, how to deal with the constant calls, harassment,” she said,
They taught her self-defense, and if her ex was stalking her, a single call to D.A.D. meant someone was there within minutes.
“If it hadn’t been for his help, I truly believe I’d be dead,” she said.
Megan tells me she understands the fear of leaving, and the fear of things getting worse once you do - but she also says once you’re ready, help is waiting.
“It doesn’t matter how much help you throw at someone. If they’re not ready to accept that help, it’ll do no good,” she said.
Help is available. A list of local resources, including D.A.D can be found below. If you are in immediate danger, please call 911.
- D.A.D - (540) 556-7059
- TAP - Daytime - (540) 283‑4813; After-Hours Emergencies - (540) 580‑0775
- Salvation Army: Turning Point - (540)-345-0400
- Women’s Resource Center of the New River Valley - (540) 639-1123
- National Domestic Violence Hotline - 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) OR Text “START” to 88788
- Project Horizon - (540) 463-2594
If you are in fear of your partner discovering these websites, many of them offer a quick escape. This allows you to visit the website and leave the page within seconds if needed. Many of these websites will also remove themselves from your search history once the escape button is pressed.
